Celebrities choose embarrassing baby names

Parents and their children are not always on the same page when it comes to names.  Some prefer unique names, while others like traditional names.  Parents have the freedom to name their children whatever they want, but there is a certain line of humiliation that parents should not cross for the sake of their child.  Celebrities are the worst offenders of this name crime.

Names such as Fifi Trixibelle are fit for a dog, but not for a child.  Singer-songwriter Bob Geldof, who founded Live Aid, challenged the traditional naming style by choosing this name for his daughter.

Actress and singer Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Chris Martin from the band Coldplay, wanted their daughter’s name to be short and sweet, so they named her Apple.  Maybe her parents will call her ‘Rotten Apple’ when she misbehaves.

The director of the Spy Kids movies, Robert Rodriguez is also guilty of this parental misconduct.  His son Rocket would fit right in at McNicholas, but not at many other schools.

There is nothing traditional about the Jackson family.  Jermajesty Jackson, Jermaine Jackson’s son, and Blanket, son of Michael Jackson, will have a hard time finding a pen or keychain with their name on it at amusement parks.

Perhaps the most unusual celebrity baby name is Diva Thin Muffin, daughter of singer Frank Zappa.  First, being called a “diva” can be insulting.  Second, the names ‘thin’ and ‘muffin’ makes it sound like she’s something you can buy at a bakery.

Just like Apple and Blanket, the celebrity trend seems to be naming children after inanimate objects.  Satchel and Banjo are two of the most ridiculous.  Their parental offenders are actor Spike Lee and singer Jonathan Davis, respectively.

Other celebrities prefer a play on words. Comedian Ralphie May makes a living off  making jokes. He decided that April June May would be a comical name for his daughter.  It would have been ironic if she was born during one of those months, but she was brought into this world on Sept. 5, 2007.

These names may be cute for kids, but they are not fit for the child as they transition to adulthood.  Names such as Fifi Trixibelle and Apple are unprofessional and may be embarrassing when they introduce themselves or apply for a job.  People will find it hard to take them seriously.

Then again, maybe these names could be beneficial.  Any kid named Rocket is bound to reach great heights in life.

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