New year’s resolutions: How to trick yourself into running a 5K

When searching for a new year’s resolution, one has a plethora of options including deciding to hit the gym. If you are dedicated to the cause of embarking on a journey of enlightenment through attempting to hone your body with a new found drive to exercise, yet you actually have no drive to exercise, here are four ways to trick yourself into running a 5K.

Spontaneously join the track team with absolutely no forethought at all whatsoever.

Joining any sports team will require a certain degree of physical energy, but track season is looming on the horizon, and it has a focus on running. Joining track may seem like a huge commitment, because it is, but don’t think about that when you sign up. Sports cost money and if you sign up, pay the fee, and then quit, you could face unfavorable conditions at home (since your parents probably paid the fee) but that’s okay because nothing can motivate you to run quite like an angry mother.

Abandon technology

The internet has a tendency to suck up time like a vacuum cleaner. One minute you may be indulging in the latest video from your favorite YouTuber, and the next minute, it’s been four hours and somehow you’re watching a documentary on the life of Ariana Grande’s great aunt. However, technology can be surprisingly helpful when trying to work out. Have a friend leave your phone at a public park and drop you off 3.1 miles away, then it is up to you to pursue your phone on foot as fast as possible before someone steals it.

Babysit for quadruplets

Babysitting is an exhausting feat, but babysitting four children who are all two-years-old will make you wish you had just joined the track team. Two-year-olds have only just begun to explore the world on foot, and they have outrageously short attention spans. Therefore, keeping tabs on four of them at once will result in an abnormally high number of daily steps, as tracked by your Fitbit. As an added bonus, you will be paid for your efforts.

Race the cheetahs at the zoo

A trip to the zoo to see the cheetahs can be a fun bonding time with friends and family, but it also has the possibility to turn into an opportunity to achieve your new year’s resolution. All you have to do is find the cheetah run, attract attention to yourself, and then race the cheetah from the other side of the fence. You may look ridiculous, but this is the perfect opportunity to conduct a social experiment and try to convince as many people as possible to join you in your endeavor.

Once these tasks are accomplished, your 5K training should be complete, so don’t forget to register and take plenty of pics on race day.